A “crisis” by definition is overwhelming and involves a disruption of an individual’s normal, stable state where usual methods of coping and problem solving do not work. As a result, the person in crisis may feel confused, vulnerable, anxious, afraid, angry, guilty, hopeless and helpless. It’s simple, when we are in a crisis, we want people who are understanding and kind to help us. When another is in crisis, it important we do our best to be understanding and remain respectful and kind as well.
This type of approach is known as De-escalation. De-escalation techniques are therapeutic interventions that are frequently used to prevent a person from emotionally escalating from feeling frustration/irritation to violence and/or aggression. Effective de-escalation strategies can help reduce the level of stress and frustration that a person is experiencing. If you slow the situation down and remain respectful this will help keep the person calm. There are other helpful strategies you can use including awareness of body language, active listening and empathy.
Nonverbal Communication can make up to 70-90% of our communication. This means how you look can be more important than what you say, especially during de-escalation. Facial expressions, hand movements, body positioning, even tone of voice can influence how a person responds to what you’re communicating. A furled brown may communicate anger or frustration. Crossed arms may communicate defensiveness. A loud voice may come off as controlling. Being mindful of our own nonverbal cues will not only assist in deescalating the crisis but also help with rapport building with the individual. Building a connection with someone can help you gain trust, which is imperative when it comes to de-escalation.
Many times during de-escalation we become concerned about what we are going to say to the individual or saying the wrong thing. Sometimes, all we really need to do is listen. Active Listening is a huge component of de-escalation as well. Hearing is one thing, listening is completely different. We want to listen to understand. The more we understand the better we can address concerns with the person in crisis. Actively listening and analyzing what people are saying, will help us find those common grounds and understand more about the person who is speaking.
In order to understand someone’s point of view we must empathize. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. If the person in crisis feels we are judging them they may shut down completely. This will damage rapport and interfere with helping the person. Remember that the person’s feelings are real whether or not you think those feelings are justified. Respect those feelings, keeping in mind that whatever the person is going through could be the most important event in their life at the moment. This is important especially when you find it hard to relate with the other person.
If you are experiencing stress or burnout this will no doubt effect how you communicate and help others. We all need a break. Spending time alone, with friends, or doing a hobby you enjoy can all help you feel happier overall. Self-care is doing something you enjoy that evokes feelings of happiness, pleasure, and joy. The thing that puts you so in the moment you lose track of time. It’s “me time” and our bodies and mind need it to recharge and feel rejuvenated. Going for a walk outside, taking a bath, reading a book, baking cookies, lunch with a friend; the list goes on and on.
While it may come easily to some, effective communication can be very difficult for others; especially in high conflict or crisis situations. Possessing such skills can assist you when you need to be there to help someone when something goes wrong or when life gets difficult. Being successful at de-escalation takes practice. If you are struggling with burnout, stress, or your own mental health, help is available. Many organizations such as National Alliance on Mental Illness offer support groups and resources. Locally, you can attend a NAMI meeting the 2nd Tuesday of each month at Covenant Church in Winterville from 6:30-8:00pm. In Eastern NC, we also offer a Mobile Crisis Team through Integrated Family Services. This service will bring a professional directly to you for crisis stabilization 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They will also provide details for any local mental health services or resources. You can reach a member of the mobile crisis team by calling 1-866-437-1821. If you or someone you know is currently in crisis of feeling depressed or suicidal and needs to talk, please call 9-8-8 or text 741-741. Remember, you are not alone!
Tiffanie Herring is the Community Liaison Coordinator- Central Region with Trillium Health Resources. Tiffanie also serves on the Mental Health Action Team of Pitt Partners for Health